One can replace a son or a daughter but, never a father and a mother. I have tried so many times figuring what to say about the two source of my physical being - my biological mom and dad. It gives me so much pain thinking my expression of affection and gratefulness to them is never suffice to pay back the love they gave for their children. Mama (64), passed away silently in her sleep during the first lunar month of 2007; Papa (73, while still bearing the pain of losing his lifetime partner suffered a stroke, and died during a Christmas shopping the same year.
People say children are lend by God to parents. Now I say, parents are lend by God to be their children’s guardian angels and should never be taken for granted before it’s too late. Today, as I lie down in this lonely evening unplugged from the rest of the world, my thought shouts for so many questions. Have the souls of my dear parent's reached the gates of heaven; are they at peace with God? Could they just be beside me carefully reading the lines I write about them? Could they be in another time or dimension where awaiting a giant spaceship that takes the soul of our departed loved ones onto a distant part of the cosmos where the Pharaos and Kings are destined to be for their eternal life? Which level could have they achieve out of the seven heavens? Would they still know me if we ever meet someday?
When things go wrong and nothing seems to be right any more, I find solace in immersing my soul in the land of Hades where there seems to be more life than the world of the living. Within its bounds life flashes back as streams of memories outpour imprinted by what used to be their earthly vessels. My parents taught us not only love and forgiveness, but humility in every triumph, courage in adversity, and compassion when there is pain.
Mama was a strong-willed person who never held any degree affixed to her name but still managed the very best out of her life's vocation. Oh how comforting it is recalling her sweet lullabies. Mom taught me how to appreciate the beauty of mornings when God showers daily graces upon the earth for those who would rise up early and seek graces. I also learned from her how to value the beauty of nature where we can get life's simple but priceless pleasures.
Papa, as we fondly called our dad, was an intelligent and compassionate human being. He was loved by many especially by people he worked with. He has an open heart for those in need and never lost his belief that someday his country is going to be great again. He loved music (and singing) so much that on his last day he was playing our favourite Christmas songs of childhood (a daily ritual in our house that everyone in our neighbourhood can attest to due to its loudness!).
No blog is enough to put all the wonderful things one can say about anyone’s parents. After losing both within one year, my life is shattered to pieces. Their passing away was so unexpected and so sudden that I don't even have the tears any more in their funerals.
Since all Life comes from God, I think I have no right to question their demise for I am just a minuscule and insignificant spec in the vast expanse of this multi-layered Universe. Perhaps, it would be best to think that we never really lost them at all, assuming there is indeed life after death. Where they are now is where I am right now –right here in my heart and mind. They will always be a part of me as long as I live. I and my siblings are a union of them in marriage. Genetically, they are us and we are a part of them. Knowing that, I am at peace just as when I was a little child comfortable in my crib.
As I follow the same path my parents journeyed in this life, their love will shine through guiding us like a torch in the night through the remaining years of our lives. We love you Ma and Pa. Thank You so much for raising us in this world and showing the real beauty of it. Life is indeed short but sweet. Farewell...farewell our beloved flesh and blood. See you again. Thank You for the sweet and everlasting memories of our lives. :*)